In Introspect...

Its time to delve into what this journey of growth will entail for me. What fires must I pass through to come out forged into a more iron-willed being on the other side?Ultimately, I want to be a sounder individual; healthier in more ways than one.Yes, I want to shed unwanted pounds, but I must also shed the spiritual weights of my past, of my faults, and of the things I allow to hold me back. I will not be completely consumed by these things. These are not the whole of my person. They are things I have experienced, things I have been, and parts of what I have become, but they are not the bottom line and I refuse to let them take that role. I had vowed this to myself about 5 years ago, and the steps I have taken since then have brought me far, but the public format of this blog, ( I soon hope it gains a wide enough readership to be VERY public) will provide accountability to someone other than myself. I can sometimes make denials and excuse to me and to my family, but I am expecting my readers to be able to see through it if I try that with them!
To these ends, I am looking at me a lot more closely, and here are some things I want to weed out of the garden of my habits:
1. Lack of confidence. I allow this to paralyze me from taking actions that could only propel me forward because I have no faith in my own abilities when it comes to certain things. This is ridiculous in light of all i have accomplished so far!
2. Lack of follow-through. I find so many things interesting and fascinating, but it is so hard to follow through on some of them! I really need to taper it down to a manageable level of tasks I can keep up with instead of spreading myself so thinly that I am not performing adequately at any one thing. When that happens, I tend to throw my hands in the air and walk away. (All this from the woman who is now starting a blog, right?)
3. I cling to people who have no business in my life, and burn bridges to those who are good for me! (Can anyone say bi-polar self-destruct button?!)
4. I have allowed myself to stagnate in my career path for the last few months. I work for a wonderful company that truly rewards all my efforts and has great potential for advancement, but I have stopped researching and continuing my horticultural self-education on the side! I need to get back on track there because I truly see myself being with this company for the long haul, but only if I am as valuable to their core staff as the company has been to me in my growth.


There are other aspects of me that could use some tweaking, but we will come back to these later. In the meantime, look for my next post, where I will enthrall you with the saga of my diet research!